I believe that this is a major issue that arrives early on in a persons life. I look back at my own personal experience in a middle school class when I was asked to discuss "girls" with a big room full of guys. One kid raised his hand and said, "Why do girls always go after the "bad" guy, the one who always gets into trouble and treats them badly". Well too bad the teacher didn't have the background knowledge (or we didn't have the brain capacity) to understand or explain why. It looks to me now like it's because the media (television, film, books, music, etc.) gives them this false belief that they CAN actually change a guy into something that they want/desire. And it's not just that, the media tells them that this is the norm as well. That all, or the "good" women, should be able to change a bad-ass man into some prince charming (and how "cool" they'd be if they could). These girls get influenced into thinking that they're responsibility and goal should be to convert their man; that only then can they feel satisfaction about their relationship and themselves.
It seems to start when they're younger (i.e. middle school), inexperienced, and clueless as to how to have a relationship (as we all were back then). It's like we need to target those adolescent girls and explain to them, as Yep and Slagle said, "people are responsible for their own actions and behaviors... and not the conduct of others," (195). Sometimes it becomes too late, and as those women get older they never see that it's only a myth. They concentrate their whole lives on finding a "beast" of a man and try to turn him into a "prince".
(I only focused on women being the main subject for this topic because the quote focused on women. Obviously this could be the same for a homosexual relationship, a guy being the subject as in the relationship between Brian and Justin we saw in class.)
I thought that this was a great post! Personally, I have experienced a "beast" of a man, and from a girls point of view...let me tell you its not an easy decision to leave those men alone. Generally, those guys have two sides to them, they have a sweet side (that makes us fall for them) and they have an "ass-hole" side (that makes us work to make them better). I dated a guy for 8 years, and he was very sweet to me in the beginning of our relationship so i eventually fell in love with him, but then he turned into a "beast." He was a complete jerk, only cared about himself, was selfish and sometimes down right mean. But it was nearly impossible for me to leave him. 1, i loved him and 2, I thought that if i was good to him he would eventually realize how much i loved him and he would eventually appreciate me. Well, I was dumb. He never came to realize how much I cared for him no matter how good I was to him and he never appreciated anything i did for him. Needless to say we are not together anymore, but that was honestly the hardest decision I ever had to make. I never realized that it was the media, music and even Disney movies that planted the seed in my head that "if I am only good to him, he will change." It almost makes me mad to think that I was that impressionable, but if you think about it...we are raised thinking that way so how can we avoid it?
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting point that I have never thought about. I totally agree with you that most women do go after the "bad boys." Also, I do think this is enforced on us at a young age by the media. What people have to remember is that the media is FAKE and in real life you cannot change a person. I think as we grow up, women realize this after many failed attempts of changing people and being hurt by men.
ReplyDeleteOften times I hear women say, nice guys do not exist. But, I think that this is a common though because a nice guy is not what they are looking for even if they say so. Unfortunately, I do no think this is something that can be taught to females at a young age. I think the only way they grow out of this is by maturity, experience and being hurt multiple times.
I think it is important for women to know that their "prince charming" does exist, but he will be prince charming the day they meet him. Although Disney movies and media contradict this, the "beast" will never turn into prince charming with a females love.